Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Tales of crime and punishment

I've been browsing the police blotter at and found some interesting snippets....

From the North Metro police blotter, February 9, 2011:

"Suspicious activity. A woman from an apartment on the 100 block of 83rd Avenue NE. called police to report that her neighbor below was sending electrical currents through the floorboards. An officer investigated and determined that the complaint was unfounded."

Paranoid much?

From the Dakota County police blotter, February 14, 2011:

"Weapons. A customer pulled a knife on a Sonic employee at 1701 Robert St. S. The customer left immediately after the incident, but employees reported that this customer has done this to other employees in the past."

I'm not sure why they haven't had this fool arrested yet, if he's been habitually threatening Sonic employees. "Oh, that's just ol' knife-slinging Billy. He comes in here all the time waving that thing around asking for chili cheese fries."

From the Washington County police blotter, January 29, 2011:

"Loose dog. Police responded to a report of a brown dog running in and out of traffic in the area of St. Croix Trail and 50th Street. An officer finally contained the dog after 30 minutes, with the help of bystanders and a breakfast sandwich. The dog's owner was contacted."

Was it a Sausage, Egg, and Cheese Biscuit? 'Cause if I was a dog, that'd have me running.

From the North Metro police blotter, January 22, 2011:

"Counterfeit money. According to police reports, a guest staying at the LiveInn Suites, 5201 Central Av. NE., brought a pile of counterfeit money to the front desk after finding it in his room. The man said the money fell from the ceiling tiles. The bills were taken as evidence by police."

I wonder if he rolled around in it like Scrooge McDuck before turning the money over to the cops...

From the South Metro police blotter, February 2, 2011:

"Disturbance. In the checkout line of Rainbow Foods, 1660 S. Robert St., a man reportedly hit the woman in front of him twice with his shopping cart because she was 'taking too long.'"

If anyone ever did that to me in a grocery store, I'd probably end up being charged with assault.

From the Dakota County police blotter, January 29, 2011:

"Unwanted guests. Customers at the Great Moon Buffet, 1200 S. Robert St., were trying to get a free meal by saying their food was bad. The manager said they had done the same things several times before. When officers arrived, the customers were escorted out."

They Chinese/We play joke/Pretend there's pee-pee in our Coke! On another note, it looks like S. Robert Street is a hotbed of petty crime.

And finally, from the North Metro police blotter, December 23, 2010:

"Disorderly conduct. Officers were called to the LivINN Hotel at 5201 Central Av. NE. regarding a disorderly male who had been kicked out earlier in the day. According to police reports, the 43-year-old man was intoxicated and had returned to the hotel, where he passed out in a second-floor hallway with his buttocks exposed. The man had harassed guests and staff, police said. Due to his high level of intoxication, he was transported to a hospital and served with a trespassing notice."

Oh, come on. If I had a dollar for every time I've passed out drunk with my buttocks exposed.... er... I'd have no dollars.

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