Tales of crime and punishment

I've been browsing the police blotter at StarTribune.com and found some interesting snippets....

From the North Metro police blotter, February 9, 2011:

"Suspicious activity. A woman from an apartment on the 100 block of 83rd Avenue NE. called police to report that her neighbor below was sending electrical currents through the floorboards. An officer investigated and determined that the complaint was unfounded."

Paranoid much?

From the Dakota County police blotter, February 14, 2011:

"Weapons. A customer pulled a knife on a Sonic employee at 1701 Robert St. S. The customer left immediately after the incident, but employees reported that this customer has done this to other employees in the past."

I'm not sure why they haven't had this fool arrested yet, if he's been habitually threatening Sonic employees. "Oh, that's just ol' knife-slinging Billy. He comes in here all the time waving that thing around asking for chili cheese fries."

From the Washington County police blotter, January 29, 2011:

"Loose dog. Police responded to a report of a brown dog running in and out of traffic in the area of St. Croix Trail and 50th Street. An officer finally contained the dog after 30 minutes, with the help of bystanders and a breakfast sandwich. The dog's owner was contacted."

Was it a Sausage, Egg, and Cheese Biscuit? 'Cause if I was a dog, that'd have me running.

From the North Metro police blotter, January 22, 2011:

"Counterfeit money. According to police reports, a guest staying at the LiveInn Suites, 5201 Central Av. NE., brought a pile of counterfeit money to the front desk after finding it in his room. The man said the money fell from the ceiling tiles. The bills were taken as evidence by police."

I wonder if he rolled around in it like Scrooge McDuck before turning the money over to the cops...

From the South Metro police blotter, February 2, 2011:

"Disturbance. In the checkout line of Rainbow Foods, 1660 S. Robert St., a man reportedly hit the woman in front of him twice with his shopping cart because she was 'taking too long.'"

If anyone ever did that to me in a grocery store, I'd probably end up being charged with assault.

From the Dakota County police blotter, January 29, 2011:

"Unwanted guests. Customers at the Great Moon Buffet, 1200 S. Robert St., were trying to get a free meal by saying their food was bad. The manager said they had done the same things several times before. When officers arrived, the customers were escorted out."

They Chinese/We play joke/Pretend there's pee-pee in our Coke! On another note, it looks like S. Robert Street is a hotbed of petty crime.

And finally, from the North Metro police blotter, December 23, 2010:

"Disorderly conduct. Officers were called to the LivINN Hotel at 5201 Central Av. NE. regarding a disorderly male who had been kicked out earlier in the day. According to police reports, the 43-year-old man was intoxicated and had returned to the hotel, where he passed out in a second-floor hallway with his buttocks exposed. The man had harassed guests and staff, police said. Due to his high level of intoxication, he was transported to a hospital and served with a trespassing notice."

Oh, come on. If I had a dollar for every time I've passed out drunk with my buttocks exposed.... er... I'd have no dollars.

Playing with Polyvore

I can see how Polyvore can eat up a lot of your time if you're interested in fashion. Here's the first set I made... it's just a quick and easy outfit. I saw the shirt and the shoes and thought, "Yep, those should go together somehow." What do you gals think?

True Religion skinny boyfriend jean
$196 - zappos.com

Steve Madden stiletto shoes
$68 - endless.com

Forever21 leaf jewelry
$5.80 - forever21.com

Romantic Reminder Top
$23 - downeastbasics.com

As a fun aside, Shop With Me Mama is giving away an item of the winner's choice from the DownEast Basics new Spring arrivals collection. That's where I found the Romantic Reminder Top featured above. Her giveaway ends on March 9, 2011, so you'd better hurry if you want to enter!

Chocolate and summer squash

The title doesn't sound like a very appealing combination, does it? Don't worry, I'm not pregnant -- just recipe-surfing. I found a recipe for chocolate zucchini bread from Madhuram's Eggless Cooking and thought I would try it, since I used up all the eggs making lemon lava cakes yesterday.

Changes: I used summer squash instead of zucchini, since that was on hand. AP flour instead of whole wheat; again, it was on hand. No buttermilk, so subbed in regular milk plus vinegar. Don't have allspice, so used pumpkin pie spice. Also, I made it in my trusty muffin tin.

The batter tastes sinfully good. The best part is it's eggless (so I can eat as much of the batter as I want, until my eyes go all googly) and only has 1/4 c oil for the fat.

Drink your coffee like a notorious boozer

There's an ad on my page for "Two and a Half Men mugs". I was curious, so I clicked on it.... it goes to a company selling the same mugs that the Harpers use on "Two and a Half Men". Pretty cool, I think. I'm not suggesting anyone go out and buy this; it's not like I'm getting a commission for posting this (although... if you buy an orchid from 1-888-Orchids, I do get 8%).

I could be drinking coffee out of this!

Salvaging the lemon cakes

I was complaining yesterday about how my little lemon lava cakes didn't turn out quite how I had planned. Well, I figured out how to make them uber-delicious! Instead of attempting to cook them in the custard cups, I poured the remaining batter into three of the six wells of a non-stick muffin tin, which I still buttered until it was greasier than a teenage boy. I refrigerated the muffin tin for a few hours, though I'm sure a half-hour would have sufficed. In addition to letting the cakes firm up, it also allowed the lemon flavor to perfuse the entire batter.

About 20 minutes before I wanted to put the cakes in the oven, I took them out of the fridge and heated the oven to 425 F. I put the muffin tin into a 13x9 Pyrex dish, poured water into the Pyrex until it almost reached the overhanging lip of the muffin tin, and put the whole contraption in the oven for 20 minutes.

When the timer finally beeped, I took the dish out of the oven. The tops of the cakes were nicely browned and there was a minimal amount of jiggle, much as I wish for in my everyday life. I let the muffin tin rest out of the water for about 5 minutes and then carefully inverted the tin onto a baking sheet. A few taps later, and two perfectly-formed, perfectly-cooked lemon lava cakes slid right out. What happened to the third, you may ask? It exploded. I had gotten a little bit of water in the batter when I was putting the tin into the Pyrex dish. When I tried to unmold it - BLAM - lemon goo everywhere. It was still very tasty, but it looked like if you've ever dropped a carton of eggs on the kitchen floor while putting away groceries.

The unmolded lemon cakes looked more like individual cheesecakes, since they were a pale yellow with a barely-visible browned bottom. To really amp up the lemon flavor, I made a simple syrup and imbued it with the juice of an entire lemon (the one I had zested the bejeebus out of earlier). My husband liked the syrup so much that he went back and put 3 more spoonfuls on his cake. Certainly, the cakes don't need the additional sugary calories, but it really does enhance the flavor. I have to say, too, that the colors in this dish were fab -- a soft maize-colored exterior giving way to a vivid lemon goo. I wanted to serve it with a molded spoonful of green tea ice cream (to look like a little leaf), but my husband pooh-poohed the idea. I ended up making a quick double cartwheel twist garnish instead. The cakes actually did look like the ones that Omaha Steaks sells (for $14.99 plus shipping!).


I think if I make these cakes again, I will

1. Reduce the amount of butter from a whole stick to 5-6 Tablespoons (the recipe's author claims it's "because you're worth it". I have to disagree; I'd rather preserve the integrity of my arteries);
2. Beat the sugar and eggs in a separate bowl and slowly whisk in the chocolate mixture;
3. Increase the amount of lemon zest from 1/2 tsp. to an entire lemon's worth;
4. Bake with the changes noted above.

That's a lot of revamping for a recipe that supposedly works as-is, especially when the author claims to have baked them four nights in a row. A dessert like this, with its huge amount of butter, sugar, and eggs, should be at most a once-a-month thing. I like to, you know, BE HEALTHY.